


Bear the Cross, Wear the Crown

by brittaniethekid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2012-11-11
Packaged: 2017-11-18 09:50:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittaniethekid/pseuds/brittaniethekid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh, the tangled webs we weave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bear the Cross, Wear the Crown

**Author's Note:**

> Mid-season 4 coda, inspired by 10 Years' song "Actions and Motives". Written in 2009.

Sam stared back at Ruby. She stood leaning against the wall, knife in hand. She'd throw it up and catch it, the glint off the blade would distract Sam, catch his attention before he would go back to meet Ruby's eyes. 

"It'll make you stronger, Sam. What little blood Azazel gave has been watered down, making the powers harder to use and control. You need a refill if you want to win this war- if you want to beat Lilith."

"I can't... _suck your blood_. That's sick. That's not... _human_. I'm not a goddamn vampire, Ruby."

She started towards where he sat on the edge of the bed and eased his elbows off his legs, straddling his lap. "Sam. It's ok, Sam. It doesn't hurt, it doesn't change who you are. It'll just help you. And you need all the help you can get."

Sam closed his eyes, not wanting to watch as she cut into the flesh she possessed. Ruby ran her fingers through his hair before guiding his head towards the open wound. His stomach coiled in repulsion as the first bit of blood was swallowed, but Sam welcomed it- it let him know that he was still human, somewhere inside.

\--

Dean was staring out the window, watching Sam get out of the Impala and make his way to the stairs of the motel. Dean had been waiting for hours- couldn't sleep, woke up as soon as Sam left. He couldn't believe that Sam actually thought Dean wouldn't wake up. It had been trained into him to sleep light and be wide awake and ready at the smallest of sounds. Usually he would make sure it was Sam and then fall back asleep, waiting to hear the click again coupled with the smell of coffee and donuts or pancakes. But Sam had left just after 2am and didn't come back after an hour, two hours, three hours and Dean waited.

Just after 6am and Sam finally walked in, having the decency to look surprised as Dean stood dressed, leaning against the wall with arms crossed.

"Where the hell were you, Sam." It wasn't a question, not really. Dean watched as Sam's shoulders tensed and his eyes became hooded.

"I went out. I'm twenty-six, Dean. I didn't know I had to let you know my every movement. Do you want me to let you know when I need to take a shit, too? I'll keep you a schedule or something."

"You damn well know that we need to know where we are at all times, man. _You know_. You could be ripped apart in some alleyway somewhere and I wouldn't know until I ripped this town apart looking for you."

"But you're just sitting here waiting, Dean. Must not have been that important."

Dean pushed up off the wall and was in Sam's face in seconds, just huffing with hot anger. He grabbed onto Sam's shirt and pushed him back against the door, hard enough that they heard a crack. Dean just stood there, leaning into Sam, holding him fast.

After a few seconds, but what seemed like hours to the both of them, Dean let go and turned his back. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, putting his head in his hands. Sam stayed against the door, watching Dean, feeling both frustration and trepidation- he didn't know what to do. Before. Before Dean went to Hell, before Dean sold his soul to the bitch at the crossroads, Sam would have went to Dean and told him they'll figure it all out, that he's there for his brother as much as Dean has always been there for him. But not anymore, that was before. Everything's changed.

"Do you-," Sam waited, making sure Dean wasn't going to storm off or back into his face at any sound Sam made. "Do you want me to get some coffee for us? Maybe some egg sandwiches? There's a Micky D's on the corner."

"Do whatever you want, Sam. You can do whatever you want." Dean got up off the bed and without looking at Sam, went into the bathroom and locked the door.

Sam stayed put, staring at the bathroom door as if it would tell him the answers he needed, to see if Dean would come out and be Dean again. It never did.

\--

When Dean finally got up the courage to come back out of the bathroom, after a cold shower and a long sit doing nothing but staring at the wall, Sam was gone.


End file.
